Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
