I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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