perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
