just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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