am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
