There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
