it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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