Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize