Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize