i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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