Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
