is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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