he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
