I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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