I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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