Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
