i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
