So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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