so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
