Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
