I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
