i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
