Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
