Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
