Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
