I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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