Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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