I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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