ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
