no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
