At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
