I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
