Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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