He is an equal opportunity slut.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
