i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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