to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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