I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
