home. puking in laundry basket.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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