I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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