those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im holly from the hills drunk
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
