I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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