What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
