It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i think my cat just said my name.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize