Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
