Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
