Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
