I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
