He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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