Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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