I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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