ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
this just has baby written all over it
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
