i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
