remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
