yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
