hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
