I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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