turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
