i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
