your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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