i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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