god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
